Lies Women Believe: I’m a fraud

lies women believeThis post is part of a new series titled “Lies Women Believe.” Watch for regular installments on common lies women believe that affect ourselves, our families and our businesses – and how to overcome them.

So, here’s the deal. I’m a bit of a fraud. And a big hypocrite. As Amber and I have been discussing the official launch of HelpMeet, one of the things that has been a huge mental block for me on our to-do list is to update my LinkedIn profile with my HelpMeet info.

Because in all honesty, many of my former co-workers will likely respond “Say what?” when they read what I am doing.

After being with the same corporate company for so many years, co-workers had a chance to see me in all my highs and lows. Once they had seen me in my lows,, it was much easier to just keep with the status quo than try to change. A few of those closest to me hopefully noticed a difference in the last few years, but the general broad group likely has no clue that I’m a Christian. Sometimes because I just didn’t speak up. And sometimes because I did speak up – with the wrong things.

After several days of stressing and doing nothing, I realized – why not just be open and honest about where I’m at? Encouraged by Jon Acuff’s START mantra to “punch fear in the face,” I thought, “What’s the worst that can happen?” Well, that people will think I’m a hypocrite and not want anything to do with me. Okay, well, the first part is true. And what I’m trying to change. The second part, well, what does that really matter? 

If I truly believe that I am a sinner, saved by grace, then I have to believe that the Lord can use even my sin for His good.

So, if you are a former co-worker of mine, hi. Thanks for reading. And I’m sorry. There were many times I should have kept my mouth shut and didn’t. There were also many other times I should have spoken up and didn’t. Please forgive me.

I’ve recently been doing a bible study on motherhood and one of the lessons talked about the spiritual level and the human level. The point was that often, we spend time on the spiritual level – doing devotions, praying, at church, etc – and then immediately after revert back to the human level and forget about all things godly. And that’s really a false dilemma as we should be living the same in all areas of life.

Personally, I don’t have a problem with different levels in terms of motherhood, but I have when it comes to work. This is just one reason that I find it highly ironic that I am now writing a blog targeted at Christian women entrepreneurs. Clearly, the Lord has a sense of humor. And clearly I’m a little hard-headed. I need my focus on the Lord so fully integrated in what I’m doing to keep me on the right track.

As I finish writing this, I still haven’t updated my LinkedIn profile. If it’s not when you’re reading this, please harass me and tell me to get over myself and my fears and update it.  I do also need to update it to be more entrepreneurial focused and not so corporate.

The older I get, the more I realize that we all struggle, just in different areas. I’m the first to admit that I’ve been guilty of judging people for their struggles. I suppose it’s the old plank-in-the-eye syndrome. Funny side story: in grade school (at a private Christian school), some girls and I got in a fight at recess. The teacher on duty gave us a nice long lecture about removing the planks in our eyes. By the time she got done, we were so busy giggling at each other about how ridiculous the picture of planks in our eyes was that we had completely forgotten whatever it was we are fighting about. I haven’t spoken to that teacher or those girls in at least 15 years, but I have never forgotten that parable.

So, while yes, I am a fraud, I am excited to see how the Lord can take my weaknesses, failings and missing the mark, and use it for His purpose and glory. I’m also glad that you are joining us in that journey.

Do you ever feel like a fraud or a hypocrite? What can you do today to begin changing and living what you believe?

 

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